My Sugar Addiction Part 3 of 3

 Instead of just summing things up or writing about it from a 2 year point of view, I thought sharing my own words from when I was going through this would be more valuable/helpful.

Below is excerpts taken from my journal where I recorded my new journey- one without all the treats.

Day 1- Received Heaven's help today. I was able to make Carol's choc. chip cookies and NOT be tempted to sneak into it or have a taste of either the cookie dough or a cookie. Baked them up for Ruben's Cub Choir which had their Christmas Concert tonight. He was asked to bring 2 dozen cookies. After the concert, I helped open a bunch of store bought cookies and was around the treats but didn't partake and really didn't have much of a desire to put that stuff in my mouth.
     Remembering the dream I had this past week has helped me in staying focus....I have given up sugar treats and know Heaven will help me.

This isn't about will power, but rather being meek, mild, humble and depending on the tender mercies of the Lord. Faith, trust, and obedience.

My body is a temple and I should treat it as such. 1 full week of being sick. On the mend now.

Day 2- ...Ruben's dinner choice for tonight was tacos and milkshakes. I choose water to drink instead. My immune system is more important then my taste buds getting a "fix". I value my body, my health, and choosing wellness...

Day 3-Helped Cliff make healthy and yummy Oat Nut Burgers. It's a recipe Bob gave me almost 3 years ago.......Let the kids have leftover choc. chip cookies (from Thursday). I choose not to partake. Later I took a small bite of Derek's cookie without thinking. Then when I was aware of what I did, I spit out the tiny bit in the garbage can.

Day 4 Sunday Dec. 15th, 2013
For my 1st weekly treat, I choose a strawberry yogurt and had 2 small slices of toast with honeybutter. At church today I handed out Ann's cinnamon rolls but for myself choose to gracefully decline. Was tempted for a few minutes tonight to eat one of our choc. chip cookies. But then I REMEMBERED the dream I had about the new path I am on, and had given up the treats and made a covenant with Father. Very tired today, but (my)lungs don't feel as heavy or maybe I'm getting used to it. No longer on fire. ....

Day 5-Did pilates this morning. Did some emotional clearings. Cookies are taking longer to eat because I'm not eating them. Upside down pizza for dinner. Waiting for my immune system to be restored and get my strength back...

Day 6- Forgot to call Scott (my oldest brother) and wish him a happy Birthday..Had a piece of toast and honey butter for snack tonight. Did pilates this morning. Felt good to stretch...Grateful for my body-a covering for me. I am an eternal being that has been spiritually reborn "Baptism of Fire" (I am child/daughter of Christ)
I know I will be a Joint-Heir with Christ. That knowledge is sure. Waiting for the 2nd Comforter and to enter into the "Rest of the Lord"

Day 9- Made peanutbutter balls for the Ward Christmas party. During the making process I absent mindedly tasted a tiny bit that was on my finger. Other then that I had no processed treats. The fudge looked good as well as the mint chocolate cake but I chose not to partake. Tonight after coming home I choose my dessert- A bunch of grapes. They tasted so good. I didn't work out today...

Day 11- Shared my new journey with Cathy, my mom, Cliff of course (my hubby) and today shared it with Bishop Lemmon and Mara. Mara thanked me for sharing with her my journey so far...She told me how a few years ago we talked about food, diet, ect and how I told her I had a sugar addiction and that I needed to probably change.
  Today during RS the teacher taught the lesson"Jepordary Style" she had treats for reward. The candy didn't interest me at all. The candy dish, was almost depleted with 10 min left of class. I said to Cathy-"Maybe I should refill the candy dish." She said I should. So I went to the cabinet and unlocked it and grabbed a couple bags of left over Halloween candy and spent most of the time left passing candy out between the 2 teams.

Soon as I knew that we would be playing the game for RS the Spirit let me know I needed to stepdown/not participate very much. I tend to be VERY competitive and knew I needed to not let myself get carried away. So I didn't answer the first few questions. I rang the bell a couple of times and reached over once causing a fellow RS sister to laugh at me. Another sister early on  told me the following, "Sally, you need to answer the questions so that I can get MY CHOCOLATE". I told her if she needed chocolate that bad, I would just go and open up the closet and hook her up with chocolate. She later made a comment how chocolate made her happy. I corrected her and said chocolate can't make you happy, I know this!

 After church I was offered a sugar cookie from Jason, but I declined. Now I need to focus on early to bed and early to rise and NOT eating right before bed.

Thank you to my Father in Heaven & my Savior Jesus Christ. I could not do this without them.

Day 14-Christmas Day I had 2 or maybe 3 small sliced of pumpkin bread. A small taste of Mom's pie. No candy or other sweets..planning on Pilates and  Body Flex tomorrow.

End of Excerpts

 

Update

 

From that time until last Thanksgiving I had no "treats". It felt great to no longer think, crave, dream about those things. As a bonus, I have had more energy and I lost 5 pounds. Last Thanksgiving I did have a sliver of pumpkin pie, on Dec 30th, my 16th Wedding anniversary I splurged and did have a small piece of cheesecake. This pass year I have had a handful of treats the most recent in October a few dark chocolates. I was reminded why I needed to stay away from that in the first place. That urge/desire to have more came back. The only temptation I had was after Halloween and seeing my favorite candy bar or rather my former favorite candy bar (it's been 2 years since having one) Milkway candy bars floating around in my children's Halloween bags, with even 2 full size bars. None of my kids care for those. (Probably because I have always snagged them up and they never really had the opportunity to eat them.)

 

I still give thanks to my Savior for helping me, for rescuing me from this addiction. Now on to my dairy addiction. Cutting back on that but still have a ways to go. But with my Savior at my side I know this will be taken care off. First is the desire to change. 

My Sugar Addiction Part 2 of 3

 

 

Next month will mark 2 years since the Lord (Yeshua) intervened and my addiction was broken. My answered prayers came in a way I was not expecting. I started to get sick, I mean really REALLY sick.  Heaviness in my lungs and they felt like they were on fire. I knew I was getting pneumonia (no I was not diagnosed by a doctor and didn't seek out medical help) but knew I could be healed (if it was God's will). I told him I had the faith to be healed. I fully expected that the Lord would approve this righteous desire of my heart and I petitioned the Lord. But the following conversation is what I had at the time. Although I didn't recognize it or rather the clarity wasn't there like it is now.  I heard his voice (thought to thought or spirit to spirit. I didn't hear an audible voice) however, it is a still small voice and I can recognize his voice now.

Yeshua- No my daughter, you will not be healed in this moment and in fact you will be sick a whole week. I am answering your many prayers.

me-Sick a whole week? (my spirits/hope was dashed).Which prayers will be answered,  what are you talking about?

Yeshua- Your sugar addiction/sweets

me-Oh, that!

Yeshua- It will take the whole 7 days for your body to detox. By being sick, it will help loosen your cravings for the sweets.

me-OK- (I didn't like the idea of being sick, but I really wanted the bands of addiction broken.) I submitted.

I usually don't sleep well when I am sick and when I dream while my body is sick it usually offers no solace or peace. So I was surprised when I woke up on the 3rd day and had a very powerful and vivid dream. One that was written upon my heart. I know now, that dream was given to me to help me later on when those temptations came. I would remember the dream I was given and the great strength in it.

Dream from Sat Dec 7th 2013
 I was in this little restaurant with a friend of mine. Society and he himself labeled him as "Gay". He had a dart board full of little balloons on them. For every balloon popped he would roll out his dough on the counter and make 2 biscuits, or was it doughnuts? I don't remember which one it was upon waking. There weren't a lot of costumers. He would go straight up to the board and hit the target. I told him that was cheating and he needed to wait for others to come and do it. Every 3rd turn would be his.
  Some people thought we were engaged because we were so close. They were uncomfortable with the "gay man" and even MORE disturb that me being a Mormon would have and surround myself around "Gay/Homosexual People." I told him I didn't accept his behavior. I told him (my friend) -"We live in a fallen world with fallen bodies and they come with tendencies, attractions but that is not US and through the Atonement of Christ HE can change our fallen nature. (We are all given our own "thorns of the flesh".)
I told him how him being attracted to his own sex was HIS thing he needed to work on (with Christ help) and not to yield to temptation and partake and go down the forbidden path. For me, my body was predisposed towards sugar, my addiction and how it wasn't UNTIL I turned to my Savior was I made whole. I knew I must stay away from it (the sugar). How it started with "store treats and candies' to cutting out homemade treats. In the dream my diet was fruits, veggies, nuts and bread. I loved my bread and the Lord told me I could keep it. Once a week I would have a treat that was yogurt with berries and whipped cream on top. Fresh cream that was whipped up.  This new way of eating had taken place 2 years prior to me talking to my friend. (It was a promise/covenant between the Lord and me).
      At a table my mom and other family members were there. Without even thinking about it I took a bite of dessert. Then I realized what I had done and started to spit it out and clean my mouth out.
 End of dream.

Excerpt form Journal 12/11/13

 This addiction is a thorn. I have turned to food, especially sweets for comfort and love INSTEAD of turning straight to God. I realize now that the Savior has invited me to lay my burdens at his feet and now I am doing just that!-End of excerpt

 

It isn't about Will Power or being Self-Reliant but being God-Reliant that truly counts.

 

I am forever grateful to a wonderful friend who is also my Lord and Savior that has broken the bands of this addiction for me.

 Now the real test came to see if I would keep this gift and continue down the new path or to turn back to my old patterns and lifestyle. Here's another way of putting it: like a dog that returns to his vomit.-2 Peter 2:22 comes to mind.

My Sugar Addiction Part 1 of 3

As I was pondering what the Lord would have me share next, it came in that instant-

" share your journey with your sugar addiction and how I have helped you. Share it ALL, the ups and especially the downs with others."

This will be broken up in 3 parts. This post is part of showing the "rest of the Iceburg". Only 10% shows above water (the best part of me, what I show to others) and about 90% below the surface. So often we mortals tend to compare our 90% with everyone else's top 10% (the part above the surface/the good and pleasant things). That is not fair to ourselves or to others. STOP COMPARING yourself to others, just STOP IT!  So without further adieu, on to something that had control over my life for many, many years.

Growing up I lived next door to a tiny little grocery store. It was very easy to take my pennies,  nickels, and dimes and buy some sour patch kids or little packages of Lemon Heads, Boston Bake Beans, or Red Hot's for a dime each. My next fix was only 30 feet a way. I didn't realize I was addicted to sugar for many, MANY years.

In a few weeks it will be 2 years since the Lord has broken the bands of my Treat/Sugar addiction for me. He did it in a very interesting way. One I will always be grateful for. Before this, I would fast off and on for 24-48 hours at a time. That seemed to help. For one, it brought to my attention how often I would (without thinking about it) pop something in my mouth. I was also my daughter's garbage disposal. After I would end the fast, I would be able to go a few days without a relapse. Then the whole cycle would start over again. I would use treats to fill "sweetness" in my life. I have also been an emotional eater. Sound familiar?

The craving would hit hardest after I had a meal especially after having protein. One memory stands out about how desperate I was to get my next  "treat-fix". My husband and I went with other church members up to the Kansas City Temple on a bus. We were traveling back down, (about a 3 1/2 hour drive)  We had packed a lunch/dinner. I didn't pack a dessert. After I had eaten my food, that craving kicked in. I just HAD to have some dessert, preferable something with chocolate. I told me husband, "I need my fix! If I have to I will go down all the aisles until I will find someone that has some and willing to share with me. I'm not shy and this is an emergency." So up I stood and walked down the rows explaining I needed my sugar fix and see who could/would help me out. I only had to go down a few aisles until some lady shared her dessert with me. I don't remember who it was or what she shared. A day didn't go by that I didn't at least have 1 + treats. People would just chuckle and smile. I don't think most people took this serious or rather maybe they had the same addiction as me and in denial?

Some addictions are more noticeable than others. Some are more sociably accepted then others. An addiction is an addiction. Mine just happen to be sociably accepted and pretty cheap to feed. I love to cook and bake. So even IF I didn't have store bought treats/candy, I had the ingredients to MAKE them, or just eat the ingredients by themselves like chocolate chips. It also didn't help that whenever we had church activities there ALWAYS seemed to be "refreshments"-sweets.

The turning point for me is when God stepped in (again) and this time- I let him help me. I will share that in part 2. Learning to become God-Reliant instead of Self-Reliant. Will power was not enough to break this addiction. God is mighty to save and he can even save us from ourselves if we just reach out and cry unto the Lord.

You might not have a sugar addiction like I have had or any addictions, but I know we each have our own "thorns in the flesh" and yoking ourselves to Christ is the answer. Love, your Sister in Christ-Sally

Love is Eternal-Seperation Temporary

Where there is Love, there is sweet accord,

there is bonafide bounteous sharing.

Where there is Love, there is sweet harmony

there is deep devoted caring..

 

Where there is Love, there is radiant life

there is vibrant, vigorous growing.

Where there is Love, there is radiant light

there is incandescent glowing.

 

Where there is Love, there is true happiness

there is lifting, laughing pleasure.

Where there is Love, there is true worth,

There is God's own treasure.

 

For Love transcends all time and tide,

Conquering death and separation

Where there is Love

Rich blessings abide

in "Heavenly Preparation".

 

May the good Lord in Heaven above

Who has redeemed us with His Love

Bless & comfort you

with the "Peace of the Dove"

And keep you always

Where there is Love.

 

This poem was written by my Grandma Swenson (my Dad's mom). I came across this today as I was cleaning out my shed. It was in a gold frame and embellished by my Grandma. It made me chuckle. She put flower stickers on the paper and drew on top of it with gold marker and underlined Love throughout the poem as well with the same gold marker.

 

The last lines on the paper are as follows:

This is our prayer

With all our Love,

Harold & Elinor Swenson

 

This was a gift given I believe to my parents and I somehow ended up with it probably while helping them move a few years back. It was in a box with a few other things that belong to my parents. In February it will be 20 years since my Grandma "Graduated Mortality." It will be 14 years next April, actually on my younger sister's birthday no less, when my Grandpa "Graduated Mortality".

 

My Grandma loved to write poems (they ALL rhythm by the way) and this is just one of many. I thought I should share this one with you tonight. The photo above is the actual poem in the frame.

Becoming God-Reliant

A few years back while sitting in a Relief Society class the lesson was on being Self-Reliant. The focus was on individuals and having skills, education, good spending habits, other things we could and should do.  A dear sister raised her hand and said, it's not about us and us being reliant on our own. She didn't like the term Self-Reliant. Since then, as I have been coming closer to my Lord, I understand where that sister was coming from. I no longer consider myself "self-reliant".

                                                        I am becoming God-Reliant!

There is something about that above statement that just makes my heart sing! All that I am, all that I have, all that I do, is because of HIM. I am nothing without him!

Instead of focusing on becoming "Self Reliant" how about becoming "God-Reliant" instead? 

For years I tried to do everything myself , because frankly, the only one (I thought) I could TRUST to get the job done and do it the way and when I wanted it done was me. I also tried to be my own Savior. I saw repentance as FAILURE. I wanted to be whole and complete without the Savior first,  then come to him. Boy did I have that all backwords.

Now days I love and am starting to understand repentance (a turning back to God) and the Atonement. We  can be whole and complete by our companionship with Yeshua. It is through his grace and mercy. 

How God-Reliant are you? Do you hear his voice? Do you really trust him? Do you harken to him and him alone?

Sacrificing All

                                           

   This post has been in "draft form" for over a month now. I'm not quite sure why I have been sitting on this one. It's time to share this with others. But thought I should add this little bit of information. My understanding of Sacrifice has changed since this journal entry from almost 18 months ago. The only thing we truly have to offer is our will. Everything else is not really ours. We are stewards over many things but truly don't own things or people. I tend to be a very open, bold, even boarder on being an over-bearing Lady. Still working on overcoming the last one with the Lord's help. But when it come to share things "online" like this, I tend to shy away. But know I am to share these things, my journey, these learning dreams with others. That all these dreams aren't just for me but for others too.

 

The key is to be guided by the Spirit to what to share, WHEN to share, and how much to share. My Lord is giving me many opportunities to learn this.

                                                   Excerpt from Journal- May 3rd, 2014
Literal fulfillment in dream. It seemed so real. I was in the basement of my childhood home. There were 3 of us. If we stayed together and were united we could of beaten the evil forces, but because I went to the "safe room" and wasn't upstairs with the 2 others, they were taken. I had failed them!

                                                                      Dream shifted-
I was in a chapel for an LDS Fast and Testimony Meeting. There were alot of visitors there. Jennie Corbin was there in the middle section taking the last 3-4 rows with lots of her family there. She was looking and waiting for some special person. The people/families on the left side where I sat were family of Jeanie Anderson. They invited others to come sit by them, they had extra room. It was about 5-10 min before the meeting was to begin. I was telling those near me how my whole family was kidnapped. That is why I was alone. Bishop came in and was looking for me, Brother Bach followed him in, looking grave. They had just got notified that my family was kidnapped and that they were all  killed just minutes ago. They motioned me to come with them and meet out in the foyer. They felt that they needed to let me know and they were going to be releasing me immediently (from my calling of RS President). I just smiled at them and mouth the words, I already know. To which they both had confused looks because at first they didn't see how it was possible for me to know. I them pointed up to the ceiling and they knew that Father in Heaven had let me know. I was calm and collective and so cheerful. They were going to have me bare my testimony 1st. The spirit let me know that. I told Bishop Lemmon he needed to calm down and allow the Holy Spirit to guide him to how the meeting should go and just relax....

    For the opening hymn we sang a song out of a paperback book that a groom from another church had provided, he took out alot of our hymn books and replaced them with his. This meeting was also a wedding celebration for him and his LDS bride. The song had a beautiful message but knew I was to partly share my testimony of the Almighty Living God by music. So while everyone else was singing this song, I started to sing with all my soul all 3 verses of "Teach Me to Walk in the Light." I was showing others the pathway-Personal Revelation-. Others stopped singing to hear me sing.

    I then walked up to the pulpit and said something like the following-there are many of you who have itching ears- want to know what has happened and haven't been able to feel the spirit and worship the Lord your God. They are too focused on the upcoming "bad news." I wasn't going to share with them that info which was my family being kidnapped and killed till the end of my testimony. First I said I didn't want people to tell me "how sad they were for me" because frankly I wasn't sad. I knew God's plan for my family and I. (I knew I would be lonely at times, but that I would be allowed specials visits from them and would have angels administer to me as well.) I told them how the Lord had prepared me for this moment for many years now. That in my learning dreams was the shadow fulfillment and now today is the literal fulfillment

I told them, "Do we really understand what we covenant to do and become? All times, in All places and in ALL things?"

I declared and stood as a witness that I had indeed sacrificed ALL for God and was giving praises to him. I told them I now knew and was part of a small group of people that belonged to the "Fellowship of the Suffering Christ." I was laying the foundation for them.  How the prophecies of the Prophets specifically Isaiah have at least dual fulfillment. I told them of the great love of the Savior.
  This is the 2nd or 3rd dream now I have had where there was a big sacrifice and I was ready for it because of all the shadow fulfillments in my dreams. I had already sacrificed ALL in the spiritual realm. Now (in my dream but thinking it was real) in the physical realm. This is WHY I was calm and at peace because I have already sacrificed ALL in spirit and now I was completing the sacrifice in the physical realm. Making a complete whole. 1st shall become last and last become 1st. My mission was to bring people to Christ to show them the way by my own example. Teach them pure doctrine. I never made any mention of the Church-the Institution. I knew the word Church in the Book of Mormon was about groups of people. End of Dream
 

 Upon waking from this dream and reflecting on the other dreams, thoughts, and impressions over the past few months I feel the Lord is preparing me for completing my sacrifice making it whole and complete. To fulfil it literally. The key for me is knowing when the time comes for this,(whatever that sacrifice is that is asked of me) is coming from Heaven with a surety. I have that great anchor to my soul. I am anchored or nailed to the Savior.... I know my standing with Father and Jesus Christ. I will follow their guidance and council. I want to continue to walk and talk with God (Christ) not only in my dreams but during the waking hours. I hear his voice and try to obey but long for they day when I can see him in the flesh and touch him and laugh with him. Pierce through the veil. I feel that I am now getting ready to abase myself or rather go into the next descent this one even deeper then the one before. How beautiful is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am continuing to be taught as I ask, seek, and knock. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Put God First

"We bless you with all the righteous desires of your heart.

Continue seeking, follow your heart.

Place him first in your schedule, and in your heart, and as you focus he will direct you for good. His promises are sure, you can trust him!

We bless you right now in the power of the Priesthood with healing from this sickness and right now you are accurate in your assessment that was given to you thru the Spirit, thru the Light of Christ. You understand what has caused this and it has triggered other symptoms within your body. We bless you that this sickness will go away today and we bless you with knowledge from this point forward to avoid this sickness that you can be a even more wise steward over your body....."

Part of a blessing/healing I was given back in the Spring that I feel guided to share with others now. I am glad this was recorded and put in my journal. I read and reflect upon it from time to time.

The Sabbath is a Delight!

Excerpt from my Journal-Father's Day 2015

*I changed the names of the couple

This week I was studying about the following topic: The Sabbath Day and keeping it Holy

Q: What does it really mean to keep the Sabbath Day Holy?
A: Isaiah 58:13 it says in there doing HIS will, HIS pleasure, call the Sabbath a delight, honor HIM


13 ¶If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words
14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.




This has been on my mind throughout all last week.
With it being Father's Day, I decided to fast to show my gratitude to my Father in Heaven and to Christ. This is what follows....
Worked on my primary lesson before church. Used a blog post from my dear friend Brother Joseph on Butterflies and the Atonement. I wanted to print it off but couldn't do it at home. My husband suggested I e-mail it and could print it off in the clerk's office. I got to church about 15 min. early (which is really late for us) and went to the library first to draw a picture of a butterfly and write a little Title on top and photo copied it 11 times for each little kid in my class. I then headed to the clerk's office. While I was in there printing off the butterfly message I heard someone talk to a couple outside in the hallway. Turns out the couple was planning on meeting with the Bishop to get help, they were told they needed to get in touch with the Ex. Sec. When I came out (it was 2-5 min before Sacrament Mtg was to begin) They were so distressed. They asked if I was the Sec. I smiled and chuckled inside. I said, no I'm not, that is Brother X. I went up to them and introduced myself. They were told by Bishop from the other ward they would receive help and that everything was lined up. (Rent, gas, food ect.) *John and Jane are their names. I went and hugged Jane, she so needed to feel loved. I told her, keep hugging, it's fine. She started to sob. She was saying how scared she was, with all the heart attacks her husband has had, how they had no gas, no food, trying to find a place to live. At this time Bishop came out of his office to go into the chapel. I was guided to stroke her hair and said, is this something your Momma would do for you? She said yes. Then I said, did you call her Momma? She affirmed that. I explained how I usually don't stroke people's hair and how I don't ever say Momma. She said to me, your an empath. To which I replied, "No, I was just intuned with the Lord." He was having me do certain things and say certain things. The Bishop met John real quick and made mention of me. I sat down and asked Jane for their contact info just when Bishop asked if I could get their info. I just smiled at my dear friend who just happens to be our new Bishop of 2 weeks and said, that's what I am doing right now. He explained that the Sacrament Meeting was just about to start. He was not aware of this couple at all. Just that the other Bishop mention to him that there was a couple he wanted to introduce him to. No details were mentioned. He said the soonest he could see them was 5:15pm. It was only 12:57pm. They explained how they were hungry. Only had a doughnut for breakfast. He is a diabetic. They explained how they put their last $2 in the gas tank. They were at church earlier and was told by the other ward Bishop to come back in the afternoon to get help. So that's what they did even though they were so short on gas. Now being told they had to wait again, and with his blood sugar so high and needing his medicine that was at their home (they live in a motel-weekly rental) He didn't see how they could come back to the church. I was told by the Lord to go home and get food to share with them. I told them what I was going to do. So off I went, letting my son know what was going on and to tell his Dad (my wonderful Hubby) I was off on a mission for the Lord and that I won't be there for Sacrament Mtg. I was going to try to be back in time to teach my Primary kids.
  As I drove the 15 min home to my house. I had sweet communion with the Lord. I was pondering if I should just go to the store to buy a chicken or something. Soon as I had that thought. The Lord put the following thought into my mind- just give them your Mom's food. My mom gave me a bunch of her Nutri-System food. I was using it as food storage. I smiled and thought- good idea Lord. All they have is a fridge and a microwave. That will work and I can gather some other food. The Lord also directed me to go to the gas station and fill up my 5 gallon gas can and bring it to them to fill up their car a little bit. I felt the Love of the Lord. I knew he was well pleased with me and that I was keeping the Sabbath Day Holy. I was reminded of that scripture that I was pondering throughout the week and I was told I was doing it. Although I was not sitting in Sacrament Mtg and partaking of the emblems.... I was communing directly with the Lord. The van was a very sacred place. (No, I did not see the Lord- but I talked to him thru the veil) I was filled with the Spirit of the Lord.
I went home and gathered food as quickly as I could. Got some nuts, cheese, fruit  and my Mom's food and then grabbed the gas can from the shed. I went to the gas station and quickly filled up the gas can and went across town to deliver these goodies for this beautiful but broken hearted couple. After dropping off the stuff to them and giving them final hugs, off I went to go back to church. I started to stress out, I would be late with getting there in time for 2nd hour. But the Lord reminded me, I was doing his will, his pleasure and all would be well. I got there about 5 min after Sacrament Mtg should of been over. Turns out, that mtg went about 5 min over. I got there just in time to set up my classroom and greet each child into the room with a big smile and a huge hug. Taught the lesson on the Atonement of Christ. I am glad that the Lord was able to use me to help out this couple who was in need, in more ways then one. They knew I cared and loved them even though I never met them before. I sat and listened. Gave them God's love thru the hugs I gave. Shared my food, left my meeting to get that and gas for them. It was a beautiful opportunity the Lord gave me.

This is what I wrote in my Scripture journal last night

"Today is the Sabbath and I have kept it holy. Doing his will, his pleasure. Beautiful! Met *John and Jane right before Sacrament Mtg. He (the Lord) put it in my mind and heart to serve them. I was where the Lord wanted me to be, doing what he wanted me to do."

I am learning and growing. Only a short few years ago, I would of questioned all this- Buying gas on the Sabbath, skipping out on a Sacrament Mtg, ect? But I am learning to hear HIS Voice and to obey HIM. -End of  journal excerpt

May we each find the Sabbath a Delight and do His will, His pleasure and speak His words is my prayer for us all.

Perfect Love Casteth Out All Fear!

I was given this Title as I awoke from this dream that I had either in 2013/2014

This dream took place in a small town/village. Could of taken place in the past, no vehicles were around in the dream. It was a cold rainy night. Probably Spring or Fall. I lived in a neighborhood filled with LDS neighbors. It was a Mormon Community. I believe I lived at the end of the street or a cult-a-sac. ALL the houses were dark, no lights on in any of them (except mine). No street lamps on either. It was evening time probably around 8pm. All the families were in their own houses with all the doors shut, windows locked. They were all hiding along with their most prized possessions in their basements or secret hiding places. Full of fear and dread as they knew the mob was coming to sack/loot, plunder/rape all the Mormons.

So while everyone else was hiding and literally scared to death or rather scared to being robbed/rapped/ and killed, I was busy with my finishing touches. All my windows and doors were unlocked and open. I had coffee brewing. Just got done cooking dinner and baking some of my delicious cinnamon rolls. I had a robe over my PJ's and slippers on my feet. I could hear the group/mob coming down my street and  I could see the torches or rather the flames from the torches. I quickly went out my front door, left it open. All my lights were on in my house. I started jogging down the street to meet up with the mob and greeted them with my arms wide open and a smile on my face. I told them, I was waiting for them and invited them ALL in to my home where they could warm up by the fire and get warm, dry, and fed. I offered them all that I owned including myself. I did not hold anything back from these hard-hearted, murderous men. I radiated the pure love of Christ. I asked them if they wanted coffee (I knew they wanted it, I was just asking to be polite) and if so, black, or with cream and sugar. That took them off guard.

The leader said to me, "You're a Mormon, and Mormons don't drink coffee!" I said, "True, I don't drink it, but I didn't make it for me but for you."

Their hearts were touched. (Many months earlier the Lord told me to add coffee to my food storage and to rotate it out, to always have fresh ground coffee-I knew I would not use it for myself but did as I was directed by the Lord).

They could have NO power over me because I was giving or rather willing to give everything to them. I truly loved them how God loved them. Whatever evil influences were around them or in them melted away/went away. The evil was cast out, could not dwell where there was perfect love and light.

I woke up with warmth in my heart. As everyone else were full of fear and trying to hold on to things and protect themselves from upcoming harm I did the exact opposite. No fear, just pure love.
Very powerful dream! Later in the dream it shifted, they became my protectors. Not that I needed them to be because I was protected by the Powers of Heaven. I had gained friends who were 1st my enemies whose intent was to hurt, and destroy.

**In real life, I still tend to have some fear but this dream gives me courage and a clearer understanding and vision for the way Heaven operates and the path that I am on.**

^Follow up Dream to the one above- given Jan 2nd, 2015^

 I was outside and crossed the street to met up with a dear friend BB with a blonde girl he was dating. She was totally jealous of me. Thinking that he and I were a "thing." She felt very threatened by me. I told her we (B.B. and I) were just really good friends. If, and when they got married I would back off and stuff. I did not want to make her feel uncomfortable.

But I told her, "It was your own insecurities that make you feel that way (jealousy)".

 I was telling B.B., "Remember about that one dream I had about perfect love?"

 I told him that I pondered and understood on a deeper level that those that are going to become Gods and Goddesses do NOT have ANY fear. All you have is that PERFECT LOVE! You've learned to cast out the fear. It was good talking to him. End of that dream.

I woke up with peace. From the dream I learned more about Godhood and there is no fear inside them. No one can control God. I now understand that the house I was in with all the lights on and windows unlock and doors open was a symbol of me or who I can be. A temple full of love, power, and glory. That pure love dispels ALL evil. I am learning to connect the dots. I had a dream more recent and upon rereading it, I now realize it connects with this dream-"Perfect Love...."

I see myself going into the storms of life, full of faith and courage because I am anchored in Christ!

May we all be anchored in Christ and be full of charity

is my desire for each and everyone of us!

Father Sent a Pianist Today

The Importance of Asking

3 Nephi 27:29

Therefore, ask and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh  receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

Excerpt from Journal-Dec 29th, 2013

Came home from the temple (Kansas City Temple) last night. Checked my phone messages. One was from my friend Nanette Lemmon (she's the Bishop's wife and the RS music leader) telling me there was a fiasco. I called her back and knew she was needed in Primary to play the piano. I told her, "Ok, so I need to find someone to lead the music and someone else to play or we would need to do it a capella."

In my prayer last night I told Father the situation we were in and told him I really didn't want the RS sisters and I have to sing a capella. So, I  asked him (requested) that he send a visitor that could play the piano to my ward tomorrow.  So today before conducting RS, I went over to the lady that was visiting and asked if she knew how to play the piano and if she would be willing to play the piano. She replied, "Yes, if I can pick out the hymns." I said, "that will work."                                           


I was prompted to tell the sisters about praying for a pianist before the RS Meeting let out. Well after the meeting Sister Jamie Chandellor- the sister visiting my ward (no relation to our Stk Pres) told me, they were NOT planning on attending our church service. They are from NE Arkansas about 1 hour from Memphis,Tn. Her husband served a mission in Missouri and they were planning on going to (I don't remember the name of the town he served in) but while they were traveling to get there, things didn't work out. They got too late of a start and decided to go ahead and come to Branson now (They are spending their next weeks vacation here). After she told me this, I then knew why I was to share this experience with all the RS sisters. It was just as much for her as it was for me.

I smiled and chuckled and said to her,  "I think Heaven had to do with your delay and that I prayed you here! Thank you for coming!!!"

She is also a RS President in her first year. She told her husband she needed a break. She just had 2 funerals and Christmas stuff to be in charge of for her ward.


    

We Damned Eachother Part 2

It's been 12 years since I wrote that journal entry that I shared in part 1. Part 1 came to me this morning as I was guided by Spirit to find my old journal and look up my original recording of this experience. This part down below was actually partially written a week ago but didn't come all together until now. Sometimes I would like to just skim over parts of my past or how I saw things but realize that is part of the journey.




As time goes by and my understanding of things of the Spirit has deepened I wanted to share this story again, but with more detail and with a new set of eyes.
 
My Mom's mom Grandma Brumble and I NEVER saw eye to eye (while in the flesh). We were both spit fires. She had the red hair to prove it. When I was a little girl, she made the following statement to my Mom: "She hates me!" To which my mom replied, No mom-she hates everyone!" She past away the summer before my senior year of High School. It didn't really matter to me that she died, I had no feelings for her. Yikes, I know that sounds really bad and harsh but that was where I was.
    I remember my mom letting me know over the years since she herself has become a Grandma that she wanted her grandchildren to like her and wanted to be involved in their lives. She didn't want her grandchildren to have the kind of relationship or no relationship with her how it was for her kids and her mom. According to my Mom she told her, "I raised my kids and now it's your turn to raise your own, I will not interfere." We (her mortal family) saw her filled with bitterness and that bitterness was like cancer, eating away and finally killing all her joy and happiness.








     Anyways, I didn't realize that I had harbored not only negative feeling towards my own Grandma but in part I was holding her part and she was holding me back. Typing this up I just realized it was 7 years later she came to me while I was sleeping. First thing I noticed besides the flaming red hair and a younger version of herself was her countenance. She was so happy and cheerful (something I really didn't see while I knew her here on earth). She told me she was happy and then her face changed and said,

"We are holding each other back, we are both damned. Neither one of us can continue on our journey until we forgive each other. This is why I had permission to come to you. It was for both our sakes."

I (my Spirit) freely forgave her in that moment as I was given understanding- walked in her heart. She forgave me as well. As we did this, peace came over the two of us.






       Shortly after Grandma died she came to her sister. Totally different reason and visit then the one with me. My Mom felt left out that her Mom had come to both Aunt Lady and me but not to her. I told her, I am sorry she did not come to you. But I am not proud of why she came to me. She and I needed that visit so that the healing process could begin for the two of us. Out of all her family, the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, I was the one damning her and in return she was damning me.


This is not something I am proud of. But I am sharing this on here  so others can read it and can know there is hope for them and their family as well. I don't know who needs this post but I do know it is for at least 1 person and it was the next message the Lord wanted me to share. Jesus and his Atonement is for real.  My grandma and my life were intertwined. So much bitterness and resentment festered in our hearts towards each other, we were mirrors for each other. We could see in the other one what we could not see in ourselves. He gave us (my Grandma and I) each other to learn and grow from.




      I am grateful for loving and caring Heavenly Parents and my Savior Jesus. The Atonement is amazing! Forgiveness to others and ourselves is vital. I love my Grandma since that special visit from her. I saw her with new eyes. I saw her how our Savior saw her. I was also able to walk in her heart. To understand the why's and how's of her life with all the background information and her intentions. I can't really described it and I don't remember everything now or rather I am still processing that encounter. But I do know that visit with my wonderful Grandma was a tender mercy of the Lord.

We Damned Eachother Part 1

Excerpt from Family Journal Jan 5th 2003,


I talked to my Mom on the phone this afternoon. I shared with her the dream I had of her mom and me. (Dream from several months ago). I truly feel it was inspired and that our spirits communed with each other. It's something my mom needed to hear. It turns out she been praying and anxious about her mom and how she is in the spirit world.


The relationship I had with Grandma Brumble wasn't a very happy filled one. She was filled with bitterness and that bitterness was like cancer. Eating away and finally killing her spirit. But now I know her a little better. I got to know her Spirit. She is happier now with a new countenance, with a smile on her face (something I hardly saw, while she was alive.) I know she is happy and a different type of person then I knew. I'm looking forward to seeing her again & know that she truly loves me even though I didn't feel loved by her before. I'm also in the process of letting my own bitterness towards her go. I know she is a loving person and cares about her family. I just wished , when this experience happened, I wrote down the dream...Sharing this with my Mom was a wake up call to me about the importance of writing in my journal and recording special things that have happened to my family and me.

The Atonement of Christ in Action

Excerpt from Dream Journal Sep 28th, 2010

"I attended a funeral for an older man in my ward. He lived here for 40 years.

The person in charge was pleasantly suprised to see so many church people there...I was about to walk in when I noticed my shoes didn't match each other. I went over to the coat rack where there were extra shoes. I found a pair that fit.... Went into the room, the place was nearly full. I went down to the front to get to the right side aisle. The coffin was up front to the right. I met a woman who was paying her last respects. The middle section of seats was reserved for the family members of Jackie P. (the man who died). A grown son of  Jackie came into the room and when he saw the Lady next to his dad's casket he was very angry, he demanded that she leave at once!

(In the past she was very unkind to Jackie and was viewed as an enemy)

but I knew she had a mighty change of heart-through
the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Father in Heaven, Jesus, and Jackie
had already forgiven her and that she now truly loved this fellow
brother. I got up to bear my testimony of the mighty change of heart she
had and how it happened. I bore my testimony of the Atonement of Jesus
Christ. I had the woman make direct eye contact with me....
  then I talked about the Savior and his suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane,

 how he bled from every pore. How he died on the cross and was resurrected.
END OF DREAM

What I discovered from this dream

I learned much more about the miracle of forgiveness-
God's forgiveness for me and my forgiveness for others.


What a wonderful gift!


My love for the Savior has deepened.


This gives me strength and quiet courage to have clean hands and a pure heart.


To not allow myself to be offended, bitter, or unkind towards others.


That no matter how others treat me, I can be like the Savior and return good for evil,
be kind to the unkind.


To care more about them and their Salvation and learning, then my own needs
and circumstances.


To have more faith in the Savior.


To be willing to take upon myself my own cross that I will have to bear.
That all who are true disciples of Christ will do." End of Journal Excerpt

This dream is from almost 5 years ago. Boy does time seem to fly by.
I am grateful to Father for giving me many dreams through the years to learn and grow from.

Please discover & develop the gifts/talents that the Lord has blessed you with and share them with others as guided by the Spirit. May we all be full of Charity and be quick to forgive is my humble prayer. In his Holy name, even Jesus Christ, Amen.

Passing the Test/The Lonely Road

May this help someone out there who is going through their test and begins walking on the Lonely Road. You are not alone. Follow the Living Christ. He is mighty to save. He loves you very much!

The following comes from one of my journals.

I believe this was the first time I had received persecution from "within" in my dreams.

*Background info on me-Growing up I was SASSY (I guess I still am), blunt, no one's doormat. Also, not very gentle, kind, nor meek.*  

June 18th, 2009

"I still remember bits and pieces from what happened in my dream from a few weeks ago. The women's bathroom at church was redecorated. Sister G from my ward was the one responsible. I loved it! It didn't feel like a bathroom at all. But, Sister X did NOT like it. Neither did most of the sisters in her ward. So they destroyed it, took the fabric/wall paper off the stalls and ceiling.

   Meanwhile, there was a prank in the Primary Room. The sisters were ANGRY. They were like a mob and wanted to catch the culprit. Well, all the evidence lead to me. It was my stuff that was used for the prank. I wasn't with them, so no alibi. It looked like I was the guilty party. But I had nothing to do with it. I didn't even know the prank existed. They wouldn't believe me. They were angry and had all this proof against me. Then I remember I spoke and said, "But Heavenly Father knows what happened and he knows I am innocent and that is the only thing that matters to me. I'm sad that you don't believe me, and want to blame me, and I don't blame you for blaming me." While I was walking down the hallway near the library a sister who I knew really well and was a friend started attacking me verbally and spiritually. I let her continue until it was all out of her system. Then with a cheerful smile, I told her sincerely that I still loved her very much. Well, that made her and the mob more angry. I knew I had 1/2 of all Branson church members angry with me. They wanted me to leave church, leave the area, and never come back. But I knew I was where I needed to be, that I was there to worship Heavenly Father.

   Right before walking into the Cultural Hall for Sunday School a wave of light and understanding came to me soul. The voice of my Savior told me that I had past the Test. That I held true, that I didn't get angry or complain or tell anyone about what I just went through. But stayed close to him and allowed the Atonement to work. That I was now on the "Lonely Path." One that all Joint Heirs of Christ would be on while here on earth. Having that knowledge lifted my soul, tears came down my cheek as I entered Sunday School. The first person I saw and greeted me was my Mom. She was aware of the whole mob thing. She was concerned for me and the first thing she said was, "Do you realize that 1/2 of the church members hate you and want you to leave?" I said, " I was fully aware of it." That puzzled my Mom that I looked so happy and peaceful, still, and happy. I told her I had past my test from Heavenly Father and that it didn't matter if people were hostile to me or how they treated me. That I would continue to be faithful to all my covenants and that I would continue to come to Church to worship our Father in Heaven. I told her that Father knew I was innocent and that was good enough for me. The next person I saw in a line of empty chairs was Caroline McAuley whose back was facing me but as I approached her she turned in her seat. I came to her, she smiled big at me. I knew that she knew what I had just experienced and that she was also on the "Lonely Road". But she had been on it a lot longer then I had been. For me I just started it. She gave me words of encouragement and we sat together and enjoyed each others presence.

   The dream then changed a little- In the dream I was in a huge house and I wasn't welcomed there. I didn't let that stop me, I went up a couple flights of stairs being guided by the Holy Ghost. I knew I needed to talk to my brother Shane. He was resting when I ran to him. I woke him up and told him I was guided to come to him. I also knew he was on the "Lonely Road." and that he needed to talk to me. He smiled but before he could say anything the alarm clock woke me up.-End of dream

   I felt prompted at Church to share this dream with Sister McAuley. She asked me if I applied and am willing to "walk the Lonely Road"? I told her I was and that I had joined her. She thanked me for sharing this dream that involved her. I also shared this dream about a week ago with the sister missionaries-Sister Hawkins, Sister Beck, and I think Sister Ludka. I told them I often have dreams where my Testimony is tested, that I proclaim the Gospel and stay steadfast. Sis. Hawkins asked if I wrote these dreams down. Some of them I have but remembered that this dream I didn't. So that's why it's being recorded now (June 18th).

  I will be typing up all the dreams/experiences I have had and put them in one volume. So I can re-read them and remember the lessons I have learned from them and how I felt. Also, so others will know me better, that they might learn from my Earth Experiences and know what I dreamed about, thought about, who I have become. Up to this point of time I always disliked the meaning of my name. Sally and Sadie come from Sarah=Princess. I always thought "Girly-Girl" But now I am embracing it. I am of Noble Birth, I am Heavenly Father's daughter-which means I really am a princess."

Hole in One/Being Decieved

 

Excerpt taken from my Dream Journal- June 18th, 2009

My mom, other family members, and others I knew were excited to play. There were many "greens" side by side. We were at the first one. They were all getting a hole in one. Since you couldn't beat a hole in one, you had to try to tie it. I asked if I had to stay inside that same "green area" or if I could use the whole park as my course to get the ball into the hole. I kept trying to T-off, when someone would move my ball to put theirs down to play.
To the side was a man in bright (white) Robes encouraging players, saying something to which now, after waking up I can't remember what he said. I was about to go when I recognized through the power of the Holy Ghost that the man in the robes was in fact Satan, he was disguised. That the true or correct course we should be playing on was just to the right of us, looking almost identical to the first one. It just needed to be "plugged in." All the courses had an electrical plug that once plugged in lite them up and activated them. I told all those that had played the first hole who that man really was and to those still waiting to play that they were all deceived. That the correct course/green was next to it only a few feet away. I also told the group that the man never said __(which now I can't remember exactly-something like being the true Savior, but a word that parallels it.) Satan was unmasked to who he really was and others listened to me and changed to the other course, the one on the right. There was more to the dream but I have already forgotten it.

Where to begin?

A few days ago, I woke up and knew I either needed to create a new blog and name it The Living Christ or to go online and try to find it. I was hoping for the latter. No luck, so here I am making this blog. I love reading the blogs of others. However, I don't like doing one myself. For starters, it reveals my great weakness in writing. Mostly grammar and spelling errors. I know I am to just let go and not worry about it too much and just share my journey. I am having a personal relationship with him, The Living Christ.

Doing this blog will be a journey as well. I invite you to come along for the ride. I will be putting a lot of my "learning dreams" and experiences that the Lord wants me to share on here.

"Learning Dreams"= me being taught by the Spirit or rather God sending departed family members and/or Angels to come and teach my spirit while my body is sleeping. The kinds of dreams I have had over the years have change/progressed as my journey has progressed over the years.